Thursday, December 15, 2016

Pastor Porno

The Book of "HOEsea"

Let me warn you that this blog is not about a holy coming but more so about the so called "Holy"...cumming. 

I thought long and hard about releasing this information into the public and initially, I wasn't going to. You see, some guys swear you're bitter after a relationship...or after relations...and that is NOT  what this blog is about. Too many times we allow those who hurt us, tarnish our names, and taint our perceptions, to live life free to move forward to their next victims. I do not play the victim card and I'm not angry. I am simply here to bring light to a situation that could end up fatal for another woman. So here are my truths...

After 15 years, I reconnected with the now Pastor HOEsea Stubbfield via an online dating application around April 2015. We met when I was 15 and lost contact when I was 16. At the time, I thought this man was God sent. I was breaking things off with someone at the time and he was going through a divorce. In my mind, this was all for a reason. Me being stupid, reverting back to a 15 year past, trying to revive love and happiness from ancient emotions. He was up for pastoralship at SMBC (I didn't know what church it was at the time) at the time and had a lot going on. We discussed him remarrying and he asked me a ton of questions about how I'd feel about being a First Lady. We discussed lifestyle changes that these titles would come with. We discussed a future together. It all sounded promising to me. Being in a transitional phase in my life and wanting a stronger spiritual connection and relationship, I just knew this was heaven sent.

We were back and forth with our dating because for some reason he would throw these crazy temper tantrums when things weren't going his way. He wanted a relationship...while he was still married but getting a divorce and I wanted to wait until we were both healed from the relationships we had just ended. At this time, I'd never had sex with HoEsea. After his last tantrum in May or June of the same year, we ended things. He would get mad and delete and block me from his social media and I'd just laugh and move forward.

In October of 2015, I contacted him via Facebook to kind of test the temperature because I'd missed him. The temperature seemed cold so I stopped reaching out. In February of 2016, I sent him a message via facebook



The conversation that ensued after we begin to speak again was pleasant and welcoming. He informed me he missed me, thought of me often, and that he did become a Pastor last year. I congratulated him and asked him if he was seeing anyone. He told me he was dating someone that he liked but it wasn't anything serious. He made it clear that he wanted to keep in contact with me and keep our friendship in tact. I respected that and since no lines had ever been crossed, I saw no harm in staying friends. He would always want to take me to lunch, ask to go to movies, and ask me to come visit his church to hear him preach. I would always find a way to do none of that. Eventually I went to visit his church after him asking me a million times to come visit. I visited one service and I visited a bible study. Little did I know, the young lady he was dating, was a member at his church and they were actually in a FULL blown relationship. I had no idea until December 12th, 2016.

He told me sometime in the beginning of August that he'd broke things off with the young lady and we begin to spend a ton of time together. I would always spend the night at his place, we begin to have sex. He became very hot and cold. I never knew what I was going to get with this guy. He begin asking me to make sex tapes on multiple occasions and I refused EVERY time!!!  He again threw a tantrum and blocked and deleted me from Facebook. 





After his last request for a sex tape on September 25th, 2016, I chose to end everything with him and again he threw a tantrum and went on a delete and block spree.






He again became dismissive because I refused to make a sex tape with him. I wanted to question him on why he would even want to make a sex tape and he's in the position that he's in, but that would be like the pot calling the kettle black, right?  I later learned he was making sex tapes the ENTIRE time we had reconnected. One was even dated in November of 2015, shortly after his divorce was finalized about 5 months prior. The first one I became aware of can be found in the link below:

TEMPORARILY UNAVAILABLE...

I watched this and became disgusted. Immediately disgusted. And then I found out about the droves of women he was sleeping with. I couldn't believe my eyes. The next tape I watched was even more crazy!. This was another video:


TEMPORARILY UNAVAILABLE...

After coming across all of this information, I was beyond shocked. Sick to my stomach. And embarrassed.  Here I am thinking I'm the only woman he's dealing with in a physical capacity and how dumb of me to believe that! Not only is he putting the lives of these women at risk, because there are tonsssss more, but he uses his position of power as a Pastor to do these things. He gets up on Sundays and preach against EVERY sin he's committing in these videos. He is a manipulator, deceitful, a liar, and has mental problems that he's yet to get much needed help for. He has turned friends and families inside out, caused rifts and drove wedges between friendships and damaged family ties for some of these women who have dealt with him. And he is leading his congregation straight to hell and they don't even know it. He's too arrogant to resign. I'm sure he will put on a show the next few Sundays, tears, repentance, and pure denial of his actions and the time-frame in which they occurred. I'm sure, as the pathological liar he is, he will find a way to spin these truths into him being the victim. Because he's an subconscious misogynistic narcissist, I can almost bet you he'll claim he's being blackmailed because someone wants to be with him. However, for me, that would be the farthest thing from the truth. It is only my hope to bring light to the reckless behavior he engages in and lies about so that women have a chance to be extra safe and not fall for lies because a man is seen in a certain light. 

 Now I don't place 100% blame on him for a situation I placed myself in by trusting a man that I was comfortable with and have known half of my life. I got played, as did the droves of other women involved. Plain and simple. As an adult, I accept my responsibility for the mistake I made in my dealings with him. He definitely has an insatiable problem. It is my hopes that this blog is passed around, and shared, and if you were a woman who have had similar experiences with this man, get tested and share this. If you are a woman that comes across this man, RUN....as far as you possibly can in the other direction. He is NOT who he say he is nor is he who he portrays himself to be. HOEsea Stubbfield aka Pastor Porno.

I'm just a woman...looking out for women.

You're welcome!!!

That Brown Girl.

2017 UPDATE:

So, after all was said and done and poked at and laughed at and commended and shown and discussed and misinterpreted and misquoted...these are some responses I've received from a few people that I thought were quite interesting.

I was contacted by a gentleman whose church dealt with HOEsea at their congregation and found the information interesting.






With all of the hate messages I received and all of the derogatory remarks of strangers and associates and people I once called friend, I still didn't question if I'd done the right thing. I felt like, maybe I have a problem if I don't feel bad about speaking MY truths. I felt relieved. I felt free. I felt justified. But then again, I've never felt bad about speaking my personal truths. Specially after seeing these things online...






I also received information from a woman that claims she's been making sex tapes and dealing with him for several years, including pre, during, and post marriage as well as while he was a pastor at Salem MBC.












So after all of this, it was actually refreshing to know that I wasn't standing alone in this situation. I feel my place and actions taken on the matter, are justified. And my hopes, are just as it was initially, and that's for any person, man or woman, that have dealt with this guy, to release, get tested, and start your healing process.

ThatBrownGirl

18 comments:

  1. Illicit-adulterous sexual relationships are like fire, fire cooks our food, keeps us warm in winter, iron our clothe with it, make our cars go, oh but fire outside of it's place is destructive, have you ever seen a house or apartment fire? it kills, it destroys lives,human illicit adulterous sexual expressions can be like that it destroys whole societies, peoples, look at the tragedy of black children without the benefit of growing up with two parents because they are conceived out of wedlock, that's about 73% of black children not having the tutelage of parents growing up, the gangs become the family, street rappers become their teachers a disproportionate of this children end up in the criminal justice system. What a disservice to God and social order, just because people who should know better do not restrain their passions.

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    1. I concur with your sentiments. I do not blame him 100% for this situation. I've made clear that I couldn't care any less about his position or title, though it sucks that he happens to be in such position or hold such a title. I don't really care about his disservice to "God and social order" because I'm not his maker and I have no heaven or hell to place him in at the end of his days. However, It is a disservice when you are dishonest with someone you are sharing the most sacred parts of you with. It is a disservice when you put your health and the health of others at risk because of your dishonesty, carelessness, and arrogance. It is a disservice when you use said position of power to play on the vulnerability of women who may be spiritually lost/famished and in search for something profound or greater in a sense. The backlash from this blog was actually hilarious to me. People defended this misogynistic narcissist all because of a title. People believed the lies that continued after this exposure even though the posted text messages are from September of 2016. What I've learned is that people would rather be comforted with lies than confronted with truth. It's quite sad.

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  2. Basically he threw a tantrum when "he didn't get what he wanted". You DO deserve more. Taking the steps and precautions that you did proved that you want better. Kudos to you for stopping his access to you. You handle this like a grown woman. Hang in there and stay encouraged lady.

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  3. I'm glad the truth has been exposed.

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  4. I too was in similar situation with a pastor at a church here in Houston. He was single and I was single and we started seeing oneanother. I was a member of his church for ten years and I began to notice that different women also began to join. After a certain amount of time we would all come together and talk. We ALL found out that he has been sleeping with many of us in the congregation. I ended up leaving that church and I thank you for putting your story out there for other women to be cautious.

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    1. When you know better, you do better. Everyone wont agree with my methods...but they are also not the person living in my truths. Always make a decision that is best for YOU!!!

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  5. I'm glad you had the courage to share your story. That's his track record. Delete you, cut you off, block you on social media etc.

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    1. It's funny that sooooo many people, like you no offense, know these things and still choose to HIDE behind anonymity. If more of these Men and Women would actually step forward, it can bring about a healing for us all. On the contrary, Ive done my part and began my healing.

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  6. The moment a pastor Elder deacon bishop apostle evangelist prophet prophetess etc attempts sexual relations with someone other than their spouse they are letting you know they are not Christians. Their titles are irrelevant.I've been hearing stories like this for many years. Not once have I seen/heard any of the involved parties talk about repenting and getting saved for real.

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    1. I really don't care about titles. I don't classify as "Christian" so I dont care about where a person falls on their spectrum of sin so to speak. We are human and we are prone to mistakes, period. Its about what we learn from those mistakes and how we move forward in our lives thereafter.

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  7. Where can I see the vids?

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    1. Its always funny to me that "Anonymous" comment makers want to see these videos. Stop hiding!

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    2. um, friend everybody here is an Anon.

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  8. Same here. I want to see the videos!

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  9. Thanks for sharing. I have made a viddo detailing my experience with 2 pastors asking me for sex... sad. I encourage you to pick up Centino Kemp's book about his affair with a bishop and how he woke up. God bless

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    1. Thanks bunches. I don't deal with pastors, preachers, deacons...or any of that. This happened to be a childhood friend that just so happens to be a pastor. Though that sounds like a good read!

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  10. Oh wow,I know this guy. Sad, I haven't had any kind of relationship with him but glad you called him out on his shit.I hope he gets the help he needs because he's sick.

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