I AM NOT HER

I CAN SMELL YOUR FEAR. I CAN FEEL YOU'RE PETRIFIED OF WHATS ALREADY HERE. YOU SPEND YOUR TIME TRYING TO PROTECT YOUR HEART BECAUSE OF WHAT SHE DID. YOU LIVE YOUR LIFE IN A BUBBLE BECAUSE SHE COULDN'T HANDLE YOUR PASSION. AND NOW I MUST SUFFER FROM THE PAINFUL RESIDUE OF ANOTHER. I MUST ACCEPT THIS PUNISHMENT AND CALL IT PATIENCE TO EXCUSE THE FACT THAT BABY, I AM NOT HER.

YOU CONTINUE TO HOLD BACK WHATS ON YOUR MIND WHILE YOUR HEART IS FIGHTING TO MOVE FORWARD. YOU HAVE BECOME DEAF TO THE REALITY OF ACTUALLY LETTING ME LOVE YOU. THE CLOSER I GET THE MORE U FIGHT. SHELL SHOCKED SCENES OF HER AND HIM CLOUT YOUR JUDGEMENTS. AND I MUST ACCEPT THIS PUNISHMENT AND CALL IT PATIENCE TO EXCUSE THE FACT THAT BABY, I AM NOT HER.

YOU PLAY WITH THE THOUGHTS OF THE WHAT IF'S AND THE PROBABLY NOTS. CONTEMPLATING, DEBATING AND RENEGOTIATING YOUR TRUE FEELINGS TOWARD AND FOR ME. YOU RELEASE REVISED, TWICE EDITED, ROUGH DRAFTED VERSION OF YOURSELF TO ME...LIKE I DONT DESERVE THE BRAIN STORM SHEET. AND I MUST ACCEPT THIS PUNISHMENT AND CALL IT PATIENCE TO EXCUSE THE FACT THAT BABY, I AM NOT HER.

FLASHBACKS HAVE BEEN FAST TRACKED INTO YOUR MEMORIES OF WHAT USED TO BE. SUBCONSCIOUSLY PLAYING ON THE WHAT WAS TO IGNORE THE WHAT SHOULD BE. CONTINUOUSLY MAKING EXCUSES OF WHY THIS CANT JUST SIMPLY BE WHAT BOTH OUR HEARTS LONG TO BE. BUSYING YOURSELF IN TEDIOUS TASK TO IGNORE THE REALITY. AND I MUST ACCEPT THIS PUNISHMENT AND CALL IT PATIENCE TO EXCUSE THE FACT THAT BABY, I AM NOT HER.

I CAN FEEL YOU PULLING AWAY LIKE THIS IS A TUG-O-WAR COMPETITION. BUT YOUR HEART IS STUCK IN THIS MAGNETIC FORCE AND OVERPOWERING YOUR DISPOSITION. AND I KNOW THE ONLY REASON YOU HAVEN'T WALKED AWAY IS OUT OF YOUR OWN COMPELLING INTUITION. SO BABY LISTEN,

I AM NOT HER. IM NOT IN THIS TO USE OR HURT YOU, NEITHER AM I HERE TO WASTE TIME. IM NOT HERE TO GET IN YOUR POCKETS OR TO LIE WITH THE NEXT MAN IN LINE. I AM NOT HERE TO FALSELY ACCUSE YOU JUST TO MAKE UP EXCUSES OF WHY I ABUSE YOU. I DO NOT CLAIM TO SUFFER FROM BLACKOUTS TO JUSTIFY MY THROWING DISHES AT YOU. I AM NOT THAT BITCH. I AM NOT THE LADY TO YOU WHO HAVE DONE THIS SHIT.

AND I MUST ACCEPT THIS PUNISHMENT AND CALL IT PATIENCE TO EXCUSE THE FACT THAT BABY, I AM NOT HER. BUT I WILL LEAVE YOU WITH THIS. IF YOU DON'T GET OVER YOUR FEAR OF LOVE, AND BLINDLY COMPARING ME TO THE WHAT WAS, ONEDAY YOU'RE GOING TO WAKE UP AND ALWAYS WONDER WHAT IF THERE WAS AN US....BABY, I AM NOT HER.